Adventures of the NEW Old Farts!

IMGP2959OK, let’s face it.  At almost 60 I’m moving past “midlife” by just about anybody’s estimation, and I’m certainly past the ‘midlife crisis’ stage of my life, at least I hope so!

I’ve gone from newbie freelance writer to blogger to author of three paperbacks and a few e-books.  I’ve presented some well- received talks about midlife emotional change, but the best changes have come about in my personal life…

I finally found true love at age 49 and married at 50.  Our latest big development? We sold our home in Fort Collins this summer to escape metrofication.  We moved to southern Colorado with the plan to build a solar home at least half way off the grid!

To commemorate these major life changes Mike and I have started a new blog together:

“Adventures of the NEW old Farts!”

There we plan to share lots of photos and information as we build our new life from the footers up!

Why I chose to move to rural Colorado:

View from our landOne picture is worth 1,000 words!  This will be our new view when our solar home is finished next spring!

DSCF0689This will be the scenery on my commute home…enough said!

Moved at last!

 We are finally all moved and ready to start building a new life in southern Colorado!  YES!!! 

Moving here was a four month process for us, and definitely the most stressful experience I have had in years, but that parts over and we are so glad of that! 

Life in a small town like Walsenburg is so different, but in a good way.  People are genuine and so friendly here!  We now have a brand new part of our beautiful state to explore and many new friends to make. 

Now that my life has settled down quite a bit, please keep me in mind for Skype counseling.  I’d love to help you with your midlife challenges and changes!

Get to know me better….

I had an interesting and fun experience yesterday!

I appeared on the Huff Post Third Metric explaining how getting fired for the first time in my life ten years ago, showed me the amazing value of listening to my own inner wisdom.

It’s short and sweetGo view it here!

The secret to personal transformation:

As many of you know, I suffered through a few bad years in my late 40s.  It seemed like I just could not get my life right.

First I married the wrong man at age 39, and that turned out badly.  I also continued to work in a career that simply didn’t suit me.   Why?  Because I was stuck in a rut, and I didn’t have enough clarity, courage or commitment to do something about it.

In retrospect, I think I was somehow lucky the day I lost my job and my career back in the spring of 2004.

No one could have convinced me at the time, but I now see that apparent misfortune as the opportunity of a lifetime.  I finally had the time and money (severance and unemployment) to sit and quietly contemplate my past choices, and then choose again!

FindYourReason-3DSince then I have become a student of midlife.  I have kept up with the most important literature and research on the psychology of boomers, what we share as a generation, why we suffer from more depression, chronic illness and addictions, and how loss can help us change our perspective.

I also have been studying the history of the idea of “midlife” from its inception in the early 1900s to the present, and I feel like I have finally discovered something important:

We are the first people in human history to have the luxury  and the opportunity to stop in the middle of our lives, and decide to do things differently.  If we so choose, we can experience a new (and improved!) adult rite of passage!

Unlike past generations, we still have the time to change our minds, change our careers, and change our relationship with ourselves.  We can choose to see our world in a new way!

This is the positive message I share in: Find Your Reason to be Here: The Search for Meaning in Midlife.

In my new book I summarize much of what I learned by studying the experience of midlife from the inside out.  I explain what naturally happens to our hearts and our brains in this unique transitional time.

Here I document the shared emotional experience of boomers, explaining why our parents experienced midlife differently, and then show you how to turn tough life challenges into the best time in your life.

Choose to become the person you are inside TODAY! 

Buddha and me

Summer Buddha closeup mediumMy approach to learning from all world religions has been to take what I feel I can use from each of them, but I continue to learn the most from Buddhism.

Buddhism seems to fit better into our world today, more so than when Buddha walked the earth.

How?  Because too many of us today actually believe that egotism and ignorance is bliss.  Got a problem?  Go buy more, and surround yourself with your own illusion of control.

Sooner or later most of us wise up and see how little we control in this world, and how buying more things isn’t the answer to either the human condition, or fundamental human suffering.

Buddha began from the premise that we all share suffering at times in our life.  No matter how hard we try to avoid it, we will all suffer through difficult changes, illness, and the death of ourselves and those we love.

How best to learn to live with this fact?

Buddha wanted to solve this mystery for himself, and so he first followed a couple of different gurus and found no satisfaction.  Then he followed the path of severe austerity for six years, living with a group of ascetics and almost starving himself to death.  This was also not the way for him.

When he was very near death, a maiden offered him food.  That simple act saved his life, and also showed him the way of compassion.  He thought, we truly are all in this together and the best way to live is with compassion for both self and others.  Look within and trust your own inner wisdom.  Tame the mind and the passions.  This moment seen directly is all we need to see right now.

I attended a Buddhist-based counseling program, Naropa University in Boulder, Colorado.  There I learned even more about the peace to be found is sitting silently with yourself and your thoughts.  But I feel I never truly learned the full lesson until my own life fell apart at age 49.

spring Buddha in backyardIt seems it is only when we have lost the most, that we can clearly see the truth of our lives.

How have we spent this life?  What have we to show for it?  And we realize that, to paraphrase Thoreau, when it comes time to die, we do not want to discover that we have not lived.

Getting down to the basics and staring this moment directly in the face, is the only way to begin to change your life in positive ways.  It is truly the only way to find your very specific reason to be here. 

I wish you luck in this final quest.

 ”No one was ever wise by chance.”  –  Seneca

New reviews for “Find YOUR Reason to be Here”

“In fewer than 100 pages with an intriguing bibliography, this is a quick but comprehensive overview of our generation at this moment in the 21st century.  Carter’s telling is at once realistic and optimistic—and her own story is living proof. 

‘Why did I write this book?’ she asks in the prologue of this new book, and then answers with a quote from Joan Baez, a troubadour for our generation:   ‘Action is the greatest antidote to despair.’ 

Carter never looks at our generation through rosy glasses.  Her even-handed reporting and clear and compassionate writing help me understand the challenges and opportunities we all face.  Thank you.”               – Carrie Tuhy

“This book is for any boomer who is looking for validation, knowledge, inspiration and encouragement for their midlife journey!”      – Lisa Froman

Is it time to find YOUR reason to be here?

Find Your Reason to Be Here: The Search For Meaning in Midlife  is where I share what I have learned from years of research into the psychological legacy of boomers, where the idea of ‘midlife’ came from, and how boomers can make the most of this unique new stage of emotional development.

Come and learn the good news!  Midlife is an amazing new revolution in psychological development, a natural, normal rite of passage into full adulthood.

Reviews of FIND YOUR REASON TO BE HERE

In case you’re still sitting on the fence about purchasing my new book:

First, a brief review from Jed Diamond Ph.D., an expert on male midlife issues, and the driving force behind MenAlive:

If you’re between the ages of 35 and 65, you owe it to yourself, and those you love, to read Laura Lee Carter’s magnificent new book which describes the uniqueness of  each of our shared journeys through midlife.

I read many books each year, but this one is exceptional.  It’s well written, with solid and helpful information that men and women will find extremely valuable.  Its insights into the problems of midlife men will be particularly helpful to the millions of men and women who are dealing with the male midlife crisis.  If you plan to read one book this year I encourage you to consider, Find Your Reason to Be Here.

And here are links to a few other reviews from those who just finished reading my book:

Click here is read Janette Fuller’s review. She’s a blogger and reference librarian.

Click Here to read Jennifer Comet Wagner’s review.  She’s previously a librarian turned blogger, and makes a point of listing Some of what she learned from my new book.

Click here to see what Holly Parper learned from my book!

I am so pleased that they are all learning more about midlife by reading my book!  I made a point of including all of the new information I learned about what we share as boomers, midlife change, and why this is such a unique and important time in life to blossom.  Anything that made me say, “WOW, I didn’t know that!” got put in.

My purpose was to provide a user-friendly summary of the latest discoveries in midlife social and psychological research, and then include extensive references for those who want to learn more about the specifics.

Find YOUR Reason to Be Here, my new book!

Learn what’s normal and to-be-expected, and how to make the MOST of your middle years. This book includes so much new research on what boomers share emotionally, how they compare to their parents, where the idea of “midlife” came from, and the exciting new rite of passage we are experiencing for the first time in human history!

This is the research project I have been working on for the past few years,  containing important information for boomers, those anticipating midlife, and the parents of boomers who want to understand their children better.

Click here to purchase your own copy,  and please do write a review on Amazon for me!